bad satellite

Ok Mr Million dollar, UARS satellite, come on out now. We know your out there somewhere hiding from us.
So really, just where is this stupid satellite hiding. I think that the Canadians got ahold of it, and our making them into dentures to be smuggled back across the border into the states, by our senior citizens. Just watch for the old lady who's head is glowing when you go thru a tunnel, or turn the lights off.
I have been scouring the internet, looking for one tidbit of information as to what could have happened to this darn satellite, that fell from the sky, and the news stories are hiding as well. So wjhat the heck DID happen to this thing, and why is it that we cant find the satellite, and we cant find any news stories on why we cant find the satellite. i cant find any news stories that claim that the stellite was found either. Ok, actually their was that guy up in Alberta who CLAIMED to have found peices of it, but it still hasnt been confirmed.
So, NASA has not only built a MultiMillion satellite to study the chemicals in our upper atmospher, but the also aded a "stealth" mode to the device as well. Kudos to NASA, for the 6 and a half ton satellite moving at 500 miles per a second, in stealth mode....mmKKKK
Over at street articles, this article says it all.
Thanks for reading, Theron